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Tuesday, April 15, 2014

Tried and Failed. Repeatedly.

Ems here:

This is a post designed to make you all feel better about yourselves. Or conversely, make you feel worse when you realize that you've perhaps failed at these things too.

Here are some examples of great ideas that never to seem work for me, despite the hype of the world's success in these endeavors:

Couponing: This seems like such a good idea. In fact, I've tried it at least five times it seems so good. So why do I fail at it repeatedly? I buy a Sunday paper; I sign up for several online coupon websites; I read "how to coupon" blog posts. And then I proceed to WalMart and buy 3 things that I didn't particularly want for .35 cents off each one. Often I will leave the coupons at home. Or Bri will shop and spontaneously buy the exact thing that I have a coupon for but I didn't know he was going to buy it so I never gave him the coupon. As you can see, not working. Supposedly you can stock up and get free stuff, but college grad or not, I can't figure out how that works; and I wonder if I really do want 15 bottles of Suave shampoo and 12 cans of Hormel chili. I'm also not going to tell you how many times I've watched "how to coupon" videos for beginners...I just don't get it, ok?

Too late, blondie.

Making Baby Food:  So this is a cheap and healthful option for mom and what is wrong with me?? I've cooked a sweet potato, mashed it, stuck it in an ice cube tray, and frozen it for my baby; and it works and the baby has that one vegetable to eat all week. But the green veggies are harder, and "they" tell you not to home-prepare carrots for some reason. Several of my babies haven't even liked eating mashed food off a spoon and can't wait to just pick up regular table food. So it seems like too much work for too short a time, since I usually wait till 6 months to give jar food anyway.  Every baby, however, I try it again because it seems like the right thing to do. I just need to remember that some things aren't the right thing for me.

Thank you, Gerber! And your little jars are just adorable.

Cleaning Schedules:  What a perfectly lovely and organized thing to do! Every day of the week designate a different home chore and stay on top the cleaning by doing regular maintenance. I've printed off forms, joined, bought (free) Kindle books on organization: Epic Fail. Every time. After which I feel bad about myself for not being able to stick to Clean the Kitchen Floor Tuesday. Might as well add "Feel Guilty Every Evening" to my weekly schedule. I need to embrace the fact that at this time in my life, cleaning will happen when the perfect storm of Time + Energy + Motivation meet.

Working Out Regularly: Remember how I was working out for a while? Well, I stopped. It just gets so darn BORING. I miss team sports, I really do. Apparently looking skinny is not enough motivation for me. Also, I really think I believe this:

Recycling: I'm just kidding. I've never tried it.

Selling Things: I've tried CraigsList. I've tried a garage sale. I've tried email advertising. Then I give up and bring everything to GoodWill because I get tired of looking at it cluttering up the house. Some folks (like Jules) seem to have the ability to make money off of old stuff. I lose money and time by trying, and I just need to NOT try and save myself the hassle and disappointment.

If any of you have had success with any of the above items, please tell me your special secret. Perhaps I will attempt it! Unless the secret is "Willpower" or something unattainable like that.

Easy Rule #114489: If at first you don't succeed.......try 15 more times and then compose a bitter blog post about your many failures to share with the world.

Easy Rule #24456: Remember the successes! Look at that folded laundry! And the yummy baked goods!

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