As mothers we learn to function despite being in a near-constant state of fatigue. Sometimes, however, those periods are more intense--newborn awakenings, ill children, etc. Last night, for example, Simona and I discovered that she in incapable of sleeping when her nose is congested. We spent the entire night hanging out together. Good times.
With that fresh inspiration in mind, here are a Top Ten of Tired Mom euphemisms...and what they really mean:
10. "Breakfast time!"-- a few handfuls of M&Ms seems perfectly reasonable...nay, essential, for a morning jumpstart. Nothing says "good morning" like chocolate, is what I always say.
9. "Getting Dressed for the Day" -- Blue or Pink? Nothing says "fetching" like fleece.
8. "Let's Play at the Park" -- Don't fall off mommy's bed, children. Be careful. No feet on my pillows. (All spoken quietly from the couch a floor below)
7. "Please listen before Mommy loses her temper!"-- Momzilla is coming and she's truly psychotic.
6. "Working Out" -- It's just like yoga.
5. "Lunch" -- A little more sugar does the body good.
4. "Okay, you can watch another show." -- Don't you dare turn off that TV till Mom tells you to.
3. "Mommy's not feeling well." -- Immune. System. Crashing.
2. "Dinner" -- Gee, I hope there's enough pizza for the rest of you fools. Must. Have. Fourths.
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1. "Gosh, I need a vacation." Someday, Lunesta and I will be very happy.
Easy Rule #3880: Moms give new meaning to tired excuses. But cheer up! I heard that someday we'll miss these treasured years. At least we're not sleeping them away....
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