On any given Sunday morning, you may see a mom frantically
smoothing down bed-head hair and wrestling toddlers into tights. Meanwhile, a scruffy husband dons a wrinkled
shirt as he wipes off stray shaving cream.
After the entourage of children find their shoes, they scramble to the
car seats amidst bickering. Frantically,
they race to the church only to sneak into the back pew praying that their baby
does not scream during the quiet parts of church. Why do families bother to go to Mass when it
can be such a hassle on an otherwise “peaceful weekend day”? What if the parents don’t have a strong
faith? So many families choose to have
their children christened in the faith, and then don’t attend Mass as a family
again, though it is a commandment that we attend weekly. The Catholic Church offers
salvation, truth, and understanding, but what if you aren’t ready to “buy into”
all of that? What can the Church offer
your family if you are not strong in your faith? The Church can teach your family so many
things besides the obvious spiritual reasons:
1.
The
Church strengthens marriage: As the
divorce rate nears 60% for Americans, couples can be reassured that Catholics
have a less than 20% chance of separation, which is the lowest among organized
religions. The statistic, however, has
one “catch”: the couples must attend mass regularly. The act of taking that hour out of your
schedule for God as a couple has a profound impact on the overall success and
longevity of your marriage, even if you do not necessarily have a profound faith.
2. The Church teaches you sacrifice: Planning your weekend activities around Mass
times can be inconvenient, even with all the choices that are offered. Sometimes by attending church you may miss
parties, play dates, or even just sleeping in (especially as your little ones
grow into teenagers). How is making your
children go somewhere that they don’t want go good for them? It teaches them
that the world does not revolve around their needs and desires. Learning to sacrifice for others can be the
cornerstone for developing empathy, work ethic, and selflessness. Children also will witness their parental
sacrifices in going to Mass, and they will recognize the importance of a
greater good.
3.
The
Church teaches your children to sit still:
Children are bundles of
energy that race around all day while parents desperately try to keep up. Many parents wait until preschool to teach
their children the importance of sitting and listening. Providing a routine structure in which
children NEED to be quiet once a week is a great start on that essential life
skill. Is wrestling a 15-month-old for
one hour exhausting? YES! But once that baby learns to sit quietly (and it does
eventually happen) that skill can translate into other areas. For example, sitting at a restaurant waiting
for food will seem easy in comparison.
Children will learn that they can’t always be “wiggly” and noisy. Even two-year-olds can differentiate between
a playground and a pew, if the parent is vigilant and consistent.
4. The Church teaches forgiveness: Though most parents and couples attempt
unconditional love and forgiveness, every day stresses challenge even the most
patient and kind. The act of
Reconciliation can be an emotionally healing experience for the entire family. Unlike other Christian religions, the
Catholic Church has you confess your sins to a priest. This may seem like a
cruel, humiliating task, but instead it can be a peaceful closure to one’s
mistakes. By verbalizing your sins, you
have to face your errors and become accountable for your actions. Besides the absolution of your sins, the
psychology of the act itself provides enough reason to participate. Teaching your children (and yourself) that
you can make mistakes, learn from them, and start anew creates an emotional
secure family.
5. The Church teaches fundamental morals: Children need rules, limits, and structure to
succeed; they need those guidelines to be able to securely develop into stable,
reasonable adults. Even if you don’t
consider yourself a “good” Catholic, you probably believe in the basic tenets
of the church. On the most basic level,
the Church follows the Golden Rule and
the Ten Commandments—not exactly challenging doctrine to follow, even for
children. Without deep faith, one can still
model those teachings as a family.
Children eagerly grasp at the concepts of right and wrong, but they are
also in the “why” stage. The Church provides an answer to that ‘why’ –a reason besides “Because I said
so.”
6. The Church thrives on tradition:
Throughout your life you may move to a new house, city, or even a new
country. Catholic means universal; unlike other Christian religions, the
canon of the Mass will remain the same no matter where you attend. For families, the church becomes a home: a
consistent, stable one. Churchgoers have
a more positive daily outlook than non-churchgoers, and statistically they are
happiest on Sundays. Keeping the
tradition of Sunday Mass will have you focus on doing at least one activity
together as a family. Once church is
established as a “mandatory” tradition, family dinners, outings, and more might
soon fill your Sunday calendar.
7. The Church is patient with faith: You
may not have a profound faith now, but the Church is patient. The church provides a calm, peaceful
atmosphere to foster your spirituality.
You, or your children, may not always feel a connection with the Mass,
but by being there you are receiving the graces of the service. You are giving your children a chance to
claim a faith that you may not have. If
you attend Mass with an open mind, your belief may deepen, or you may at least
be willing to discuss your doubts with those who may have a stronger faith.
**Please note, if you are doubting your faith, please do examine these guidelines for receiving Holy Communion
The easy rules for today:
Rule #3 Go to church every Sunday. You (and your children) may be getting more out of the mass than you realize.
Rule #313 Play the odds: if statistics show that churchgoers have happier, longer marriages and more stable families-- then go for it!
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