Power of Prayer

Jules here-

New life motto. An earlier version of "Just Do It"

During this Holy Week, we had ample opportunities to deepen our faith.  Many people chose to rekindle their relationship with God through reconciliation, Mass, and the Stations of the Cross.  However, other people may find this time of year challenging to their beliefs.  So many feel as if their prayers "aren't answered" or that God "isn't listening to me."  Some even wonder why "God needs praise."  Even if you have doubts about God's plan or if God truly listens to you, the power of prayer goes beyond having your pleas answered. Science is just catching up to the idea that prayer does heal and help.... so don't discount the side effects of prayer:

• Worries Leave Your Mind- As humans, we have a tendency to overthink, analyze, and worry about everything from the weather to illness. When you pray, it gives your mind a chance to release some of your hidden anxieties and stresses.  Even simply speaking your fears and concerns aloud will help your body process and alleviate the burdens of our daily lives.

  

  One of my favorite Normal Rockwell paintings

• Insight- As my worries, fears, and anxieties are put into words, I often glean insight into my own inner sanctum. I can discern my true burdens amidst all the clutter in my brain. Also, my children add "intentions" at the end of our prayers and they offer a fascinating insight into their own concerns.  They say anything from, "I pray that my gym class group is nice to me today" to "I hope that Miss Smith's kitty cat is up in heaven now."  I learn about what consumes their minds and I can help them process how to handle certain situations- I can be God's vessel for answering their prayers!

  

• Perspective- When I pray, especially with my children, I try to pray for the less fortunate: the terminally ill, lonely elderly, homeless, etc.  After hearing the challenges of others, my piddly worries seem minute and petty.  By putting my fears and anxieties in perspective, I can appreciate what I truly have.
  

  

• Conversations with Mercy- In Catholicism, God is a merciful, benevolent, and kind Father to us. He offers us unconditional love and forgiveness- our prayers can be expressions of our guilt and doubt.  When you pray aloud your sins, you can realize the error of your ways as well as formulate a plan to improve yourself (this works best in the sacrament of Reconciliation).
  

  

   

   

   

   

   

   

• Gratitude- Some prayers are simple thanksgiving- I take a moment to appreciate that all my appliances are working, or my children are healthy, or I was able to juggle all of our activities without losing my mind this week, etc.  When I pause to reflect and appreciate, I focus on the positive, and appreciate even the daily, mundane time with my kids. I revel in the simplicity and happiness! 
  

  

  Lake Opechee, basically my backyard one block away-- I am so grateful for my sunsets!

• Patience- When you pray, you have to wait.  It paces you to reflect more deeply on your fears, anxieties, sins, and appreciations.  You have a moment to crystallize your inner thoughts and ideas- and if you have a well-formed conscience, it can help you make decisions.  Prayer will teach you patience

  

  I saw this posted on Facebook the day the first house I bought fell through due to failed inspections. I was devastated until I saw that mantra-- and the next day I found my dream home :)

Are you praying for the right reasons? Are you just going through the motions while you bless your food or praying for an ambulance as it goes by? Even if you have doubts- YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE!! Prayer can only help ease your own mind and cease your worrying.  Prayer is simple, can be done anywhere at anytime, and it can bring your family closer together.

And --who knows-- just maybe Someone is listening to your prayers....

Easy Rule #143- Praying for the wrong reasons might end up helping you anyway.

Easy Rule #1231- Leave your worries to God, he stays up all night anyway. 

Something Other Than...

Ems here:

Funny quote of week: 

While carpooling several of the boys' teammates up to the soccer fields, the van was so full that kids had to sit on either side of the baby's car seat. Red-haired Mikey, on one side, asked Matt, "What's your baby's name?"

Matt replied, "Simona." 

Giving him a horrified and quizzical look, Mikey responded, "What?! Your sister's name is SEBULBA?!!"

Who needs a saint name when we can do a Star Wars theme?

Poor Simona has had many erroneous mispronunciations of her name--such as Samoa and Sonoma--but this was by far the most hilarious! I was cracking up in the front seat.

In other news, I'd like to thank the television networks for taking every interesting show off the air so that I am forced to read books. In particular, I'd like to thank Jennifer Fulwiler for writing a book that was entertaining as well as edifying--despite that fact that swordplay and magic were rather conspicuously absent. I mentioned her book, Something Other Than God, in a previous post, but since I've actually read it now, I thought I would discuss it a bit.

First, I just want to give a shout-out to converts. Folks who are raised with a belief system from their parents--or with no faith at all--who search and research and question until they discover Truth and follow it no matter the consequences, are such amazing people. And when they publish a book, we all get to share in the fruit of their labor! Jennifer (we're tight like that) was a militant atheist, so how she came to believe that there is a God is powerful;  how she came to be Catholic, very nearly against her own will, is astonishing. 

A couple big sticking points with her conversion were "Catholic policy" issues--contraception and abortion, in particular.  How could she embrace a religion which she had always believed to be essentially anti-woman, anti-freedom, really, at its core?  Deciding to give the Church a chance to explain itself, she dove in to the encyclicals of Pope Paul VI, specifically Humane Vitae (On Human Life).  She notes that the Pope predicted a couple of things should contraception become accepted and widespread: (1) it would be bad for marriages and (2) it would lead men to disrespect women.  It didn't take Jennifer long to see the writing on the wall--sky-rocketing divorce rates and magazine articles that screamed to women about how sexy we could be--pretty clearly, the climate in our country had shifted.  Quoting the Pope, Jennifer states, "He said that once men got used to the widespread availability of contraception, they would 'forget the reverence due to a woman, and, disregarding her physical and emotional equilibrium, reduce her to being a mere instrument for the satisfaction of his own desires'."  

Reflecting that in today's culture the measure of a woman's value is largely in her sexual appeal, "When, exactly, did the standard of beauty become a dictate that we must all look like Stripper Barbie?," Jennifer eventually draws a conclusion, the same one as the Church, that when you separate the procreative (life-giving) and the unitive (loving, pleasure) of sexuality, it becomes disordered.




Food for thought indeed, as we raise our boys to see past the surface, past the temptation of glossy pictures, to admire the qualities that elevate women to wives and mothers and women of grace--swimming like salmon against the current of blatant sexuality and rampant hedonism. We pray our daughters have the strength to resist a world that rewards crudeness and immodesty. I just read a Yahoo news story in which a college girl puts herself through school by stripping on the weekends (she makes 180K a year)...how hard would that be to turn down? But at what cost to a person's self-worth? And what message does this send to young girls? Be debt free, sell your body? So many things wrong with this news story, not only one is the abhorrent cost of college these days. Ok, rant over.

Anyway, if you are intellectually curious or looking for a bolstering of faith, Something Other Than God will do the trick, painlessly and with easy humor.

 Favorite line from the book:

"Now, a century and half later, a woman could hardly consider herself truly beautiful without a tight abdomen, perky breasts, a taut posterior, wrinkle-free face, and even, to quote one of the magazines in front of me, 'ultra-sexy upper-arms.' Upper arms? Did our ear canals now have to be sexy, too?"

So I ask, who is pro-woman and pro-freedom? Because the kind of freedom depicted in magazines at the supermarket checkout lane more closely resembles subjugation...I'll take the pedestal, please.


Easy Rule #51124: Ask questions and dig deeper--the truth can take it.

Here's a little sweetness:

An Answer to My Prayers

Jules here-

Often I have prayed for someone to get a job or recover from an illness, and those prayers seemingly go unanswered.  Most faith is tested when we are struggling to see God's will in our unanswered pleadings.  I do believe that we, as humans, are unable to comprehend the grand plan of God; however, sometimes we must focus on the seemingly insignificant blessings he bestows on us in answer to our small prayers.  Recently, the phrase "You ask and you shall receive" has resonated with me, as I have had some prayers and needs answered almost instantly.

• At the first snowfall in the start of winter, my children eagerly scrambled to don their snow-gear; however, being the youngest of two older sisters, James was relegated to pink snow pants.
   

  

  New Hampshire Ready

  After sending the trio outside, my husband begged, "Really? Pink snow pants? Can't you buy a pair at the consignment store or something?"  I reluctantly agreed to check out the consignment (because quite frankly I don't really care if my son wears pink snow pants)....however, they did not have any snow pants in his size.  Upon arrival to my Mom's Group the next day, one of my friends walked in with a bag and said, "Hey, do you need snow pants for James? My son just out grew these."  A perfect pair of 2T blue snow pants.  My prayers were answered! 
  
  
  
• A couple of weeks later, James watched the girls coloring their Strawberry Shortcake and Princess/Fairy pages and asked, "Mommy, can I color a soccer page? Where's my sports book?"  Um.... I don't have one....  Once again, being the younger brother to two older sisters has its disadvantages.   Later that day, my neighbor Lisa called asking, "I have a few old coloring books and preschool learning books that Austin has outgrown, do you want them?" I said, "Sure."  When she dropped them off, this was amongst them:
  
  

  

  A sports sesame street book. Perfect

  James was thrilled to find a Elmo soccer picture on the first page! Once again, my prayers were instantly answered!
  
  
  
• Most families who do not have dual-incomes have to make lots of sacrifices to maintain their lifestyle, and around the holidays that lack of "extra" money becomes more noticeable.  I have neighbors down the road who have two older children (teenagers), and she called me in late November asking if I wanted some toy/book hand-me-downs. I eagerly agreed and I was blessed with such an abundance of gifts for my children. I spent $20 (including stocking-stuffers) on my kids this Christmas because of my neighbors generosity. 
  

  

  John Deere Tractor Set for James

• During a stressful financial and family time, I was overwhelmed just trying to work, care for the children and homeschool them.  Without being asked, my friend Tanya just swung by with a meal for my family.  Having a night off from cooking allowed me to de-stress a bit and re-focus my organizing efforts!  Plus the meal was awesome:
  

  

  Pasta Fagioli

  
  Coincidences? I don't think so! I truly believe God works through my friends and neighbors to give me things I need.  Sometimes what we need is very different than what we want.  I also can look back and see times in my life in which God used me to answer someone else's needs:



Still love those Oreos....

• When I was a senior in college, I was speaking to an acquaintance of mine, Tony.  He then said, "Do you remember when we were freshmen in the Film as Lit class?" (I honestly barely remembered Tony being in that class with me... )"Well, the first day you offered me one of your oreo cookies. I'll never forget that. I was such a nervous freshmen guy and then you were so friendly!"  I was so surprised that my simple gesture (that I have no real memory of) had such a big impact on him.
  
  

  

  Rehab

• In my first job out of college, I worked at a hospital in downtown Lancaster, PA. I had a 32 year old woman who had just had brain surgery to remove a cancerous tumor.  With a complication from the procedure, she had had a mild stroke. She was very depressed the first session, so I took her to a private therapy room and started talking to her about her four young children. Soon, we found out that her husband had coincidentally been my husband's confirmation sponsor the year prior. She instantly burst into joyous tears saying, "I have prayed for a miracle today. I felt so sad and self-pitying, but God send me a good Catholic girl as my therapist to help me through!" 
           We spent the next few weeks practicing walking and holding a make-shift baby (out of a pillow/weights) so she could be discharged from the hospital.  She had a terminal diagnosis, but she was able to spend her last year with her family, at home. I worked with a dozen other OTs at that hospital, and the chances that I would be blessed to meet this amazing woman was slim--but by "chance" we became friends.
  
  
  Easy Rule #427730  Make sure you recognize the times in your life when your needs have been met-- was it just a coincidence?
  
  Easy Rule #53948- Never pass up an opportunity to be someone else's answered prayer.  Listen to that little voice inside!!
  
  
  
  
  
  

Confession

Ems here:

I stopped working out a month ago and have cheated on phone free Friday.


Oh wait, wrong confession. I was going to talk about the actual Sacrament!

My third son, Matthias, just made his first confession a couple weeks ago, and he had such a great experience! The nerves, the fears, all melted away once he completed Reconciliation. 

My Own Experience

As a shy and introverted 7 year old, my first experience was not so pleasant. Instead of focusing on the grace and generosity of the sacrament, I couldn't see past the rubrics and the ritual. I spent hours memorizing the words beginning with: "Bless me, Father, for I have sinned...;" and more time memorizing the Act of Contrition. Still more time was spent in an examination of conscience so that I would have adequate sins to report.  I was so afraid I would say something wrong or even completely draw a blank. 

Of course, I knew in my mind that those fears were silly and mostly groundless. The priest was sweet and holy and would never make me feel stupid--but I would make myself feel dumb enough for us both. Essentially, by having to memorize and recall so much "stuff," the Sacrament became an oral examination and presentation rolled into one....with the added shame of sharing deep, dark secrets with a grown-up. No wonder I dreaded it! The peace from the Sacrament was obscured with the stress of performance anxiety.

My Kids' Experience

I knew that I did not want my kids to feel this way about what should be a beautiful experience. So, not to be too obvious (ha ha), I simply printed out an examination of conscience and the Act of Confession prayer for them to bring into the confessional.  Bam. 

EXAMINATION OF CONSCIENCE Did I pay attention at Mass?
Have I fooled around in Church?
Did I say my prayers every day?
Did I say mean things to my mom or dad?
Did I always say "Thank You" to people?
Am I hard to get along with (during school, at Grandma´s, at home?)
Did I do what my mom and dad told me to do? My teacher?
Was I lazy around the house?
Did I do my chores?
Did I hurt others people´s feelings by calling them bad names?
Have I started fights with my brothers and sisters at home?
Have I blamed other people for things I do?
Did I get other people into trouble?
Do I hit people when I get mad?
Have I forgiven people? Or am I holding a grudge?
Have I cheated or been unfair in games?
Did I refuse to play with someone for no good reason?
Was I was lazy about my schoolwork?
Did I fail to do my homework?
Did I cheat in school?
How many times did I lie to my parents? My teachers? My friends?
Did I take anything that didn´t belong to me?
Did I avoid medicine? Did I refuse to eat food I didn´t like?


Bless me Father for I have sinned. It has been _____________ since my last confession and these are my sins: (List your sins and about how many times) For these and for all my sins, I am heartily sorry.

Act of Contrition O my God, I am heartily sorry for having offended Thee, and I detest all my sins because of Thy just punishments, but most of all because they offend Thee, my God, Who art all-good and deserving of all my love. I firmly resolve, with the help of Thy grace, to sin no more and to avoid the near occasions of sin.

Thank you, Father!

Before every confession (including the first), I print out the above page (the examination of conscience is available on many Catholic websites as a good one for kids), and they mark it up any way they want. Knowing they can have this paper to refer to does wonders for their confidence.  I can honestly say that after each one of my boys had his first confession, they were OVERJOYED. 

Matthias has been asking every day when he can go again.  He told me that knowing his soul was clean and pure was "awesome." 

Making peace with God; confessing sins and being humble; accepting responsibility for wrong actions; receiving grace to continue on and avoid sin--these are all fruits of the Sacrament of Reconciliation. To have those goods tarnished by fear and stress is wrong. Basically, if we can remove some obstacles from our children's path, we should do it.  They will face enough stress and hardship in their lives as it is.  God wants us to be closer to Him!


Easy Rule #40099: If something that is supposed to bring peace is bringing you stress instead, reassess and see what needs to be changed. This can be applied to many situations, I've found. Thus, my Picture It posts when blogging seems challenging....

Thorns and Chains

Ems here--

Tomorrow (or today, depending on when you are reading this) is Ash Wednesday.  We won't be able to go to church because we only have one vehicle currently and Bri has work, but we will spend our time at home trying to do Lent-y things....The activities are a little bit crafty. Boo crafts. However, these are Ems approved for relative ease, fear not.

One activity that was introduced to me by a friend and that is fairly common in Catholic homes is the Salt Dough Crown of Thorns. Basically, you bake a braided ring of dough covered in tooth picks, place on a purple cloth (or a purple T-shirt) and make it the centerpiece of your dining table during Lent. Obviously, the ring represents the crown of thorns worn by Jesus, each toothpick a thorn, symbolizing our sins that are piercing His head and causing him pain.  Throughout these 40 days, the children pull toothpicks from the crown for every good deed or kindness they do, thus sparing Our Lord pain. By Easter, all the "thorns" will be removed and we decorate the crown with glitter, jewels, paint, etc. to celebrate the resurrection!

Yes, sometimes the day before Easter is rather frantic with good deeds to get the last of the thorns removed. It's sweet watching them rush around doing chores in preparation for the feast day.  In our home, you have to nominate someone for Thorn Removal. Before that rule we would have conversations like this:

"Okay, Mom, I just cleaned up three toys and then I didn't hit Gabe when he took a toy out and then I threw away a tissue on the floor. Can I pull out 5 thorns?"  Um, no. Maybe one.

Now, when one child notices another being kind (or if I do), we congratulate him/her and then said individual can pull a thorn. It gives the whole thing a bit more credibility and hopefully fosters the idea that brothers and sisters can occasionally "tattle" on each other in a nice way for a change.



Here's the recipe and instructions for the activity taken from www.cuf.org (Catholics United for the Faith):

CROWN OF THORNS (Salt Dough)

Materials:
4 c. flour
1 c. salt
Water
Toothpicks

Directions:

Mix flour and salt. Mix enough water to make a stiff clay. (A little warmth helps dissolve the salt.) Knead until smooth to remove any air bubbles. Roll three long ropes and loosely braid them. Form braid into a circle and stick toothpicks loosely throughout the entire crown (If they are embedded too deeply they cannot be pulled out intact.) Bake at 350° F for an hour or until it is dry and light brown.

Jules just shared with me another Lenten activity that I am going to do also, because it sounds so easy  rewarding:


LENTEN PRAYER CHAIN

1. Using purple construction paper, cut out forty strips (you will be making a chain, so whatever width you want).

2. On each strip, write down the names of family or friends or whomever you would like to pray for and remember during the season.

3. Make your chain.

4. Each day of Lent unhook one strip and see who you need to remember in prayer.



Tomorrow also marks the day I will be giving up soda (waaaaaaaa) and cutting back on baked goods (notice I don't give them up entirely. Girl not crazy). We are also trying to say a decade of the rosary after dinner. And then Phone Free Fridays.  So, sacrifices = check.

Anyway, y'all, have a wonderful beginning to Lent, and here's hoping that this weather gets warmer and warmer or I will not make it till Easter.

Easy Rule #4110: Lent is a great time to take the focus off of "self" and onto others--whether by good deeds or prayer.

Day 7- Sacrifice

Jules here-

Back in pre-kid era (also known as the "blissfully-naive" time period), I was attending a party during lent (I know, "party-during-Lent" is discouraged, but I was young) with a rowdy group of college students.
       One of them asked me, "Do you want a burger or a hot dog?"
        I answered, "I'm just having the salad actually."
        He snorted, "A vegetarian, eh?"
       "Nope," I replied, "I'm a Catholic, and it's a Friday in Lent."
       "You actually do that? Why? It seem so pointless," he scoffed.

I attempted to respond effectively to his ignorance at the time; however, it gave me pause to question the why behind Lent and the Catholic concept of "sacrifice".  After years of reflection and sacrifice, I feel as if I would have had a much better answer prepared for that college punk.  Unlike some other religions, I have found that the Catholic faith is quite logical and there is always a why behind the ritual, rubrics, and rites.  Unfortunately, I am not a great reader of Catholic apologetics, so most of my reflection comes from experience rather than research.

But my answer to the "Why do Catholics give up stuff?" can be summed up in a few different responses:

• Control- From Buddhists to Hindus, religions have often used fasting and sacrifice as a way to learn to control one's body. When one can learn to resist temptations that seem simple (meat or cell phone use), then when one is presented with a big temptation, one may be able to curb one's natural instinct to sin.  Honestly, I think much of my self-discipline and will-power comes from this concept.
     

  

  Could you resist eating this? She couldn't...

• Heightened Awareness- I have a tendency to eat the scraps off my children's plates and check my email sporadically throughout the day; when you sacrifice something for Lent, you MUST be aware of every morsel of food and every option throughout your day.  You develop a heightened awareness of your decisions rather than mindless, unconscious choices.
  
  
• Breaking Bad Habits- Catholics often give up "vices" at Lent: chocolate, guilty-pleasure TV shows, Internet games, etc.  Sometimes when you have 40 days without your addiction, you just don't ever go back to it. For example, I used to be addicted to Law & Order-- all of the versions.  I was able to space out to hours of thrilling crime drama marathons (obviously this is pre-kids), but I gave it up for Lent ten years ago, and I simple didn't ever watch them again. (Now, this was not the case when I had an ill-fated "give up chocolate" attempt back in '97, I set my alarm for midnight on Easter to indulge in a chocolate bar in bed...)
  
  
• Developing Good Habits- Donating time to help people comes naturally to me; donating money to help people does not.  Maybe because I have always been saving for something, but it has been very hard to part with my hard-earned money.  One Lent, when I was in high school working as a waitress, I vowed to donate half of my earnings to the Church.  It was awful at the time, but it helped soften the blow of tithing in the future.  Whether you vow to pray the Rosary daily or attend daily Mass, good habits can also be a form of sacrifice during the Lenten time-- and follow you into "ordinary" times...
    
  
• Evangelism- Catholics aren't known for door-to-door proselytizing, but during Lent we are marked- literally- we get ashes on her head to symbolize our Catholicism.  People ask us questions about why we give up stuff or what makes us Catholic.  The sacrifices we offer up are noted by non-Catholics and it might make them curious about our dedication, faith, and values.
  
  
• Suffering- "Why would a religion want to teach you about suffering?" you might ask. Well, quite honestly, the world is full of suffering and if you don't learn how to find peace, understanding and even joy in those times, your life will be very unfulfilled.  For example, after reading a description of the book  All Joy and No Fun, I had an "Aha!" moment of "modern" parenting.  People expect things to be fun--not hard, tiring, or painful.  Learning to handle suffering enables one to respond to the calling of being a parent, rather than the "job".  Learning to sacrifice for the sake of others is the purpose of being a human, especially a parent. 
    
  
• Perspective- Ultimately our minimal "suffering" we undergo during Lent pales in comparison of the ultimate sacrifice of Jesus. Every Good Friday, I watch The Passion of the Christ as a reminder of the pain, suffering, and triumph of Easter.  Being able to put your pain into perspective, viewing the positives rather than the negatives, refocuses you and helps you live Jesus's message of hope.  This week a high school classmate passed away after a brave, two-year battle with cancer, and I was able to offer up my own minimal stomach-bug suffering for her soul-- and that gives me hope.

This Lent remember the reasons behind the restrictions so you can stand up for our Faith; reflect on all the qualities you'll gain when giving something up!

Easy Rule #59080- Learning the why behind your religion helps you develop a stronger Faith and makes it easier to make those sacrifices.

Easy Rule #4908- Unless you are a serious Catholic, don't give up chocolate. Some suffering might be too much for a mom.

And for all you March birthdays (Mom, Ems, Grace, Lissie to name a few....)

Like this post? Check out other bloggers here!

Plus if you like my perspective on Sacrifice, how about taking your kids to Church?

Day 1- Phone-Free Fridays for Lent

Jules here--

At the commencement of our "posting every day" week, I'd like to reflect on the impact of technology on our homes and family.  Now, I do recognize the irony of denouncing the very technology that one is reading this blog on: PC, phone, laptop, tablet; but, I am mentally preparing for the Lenten season starting next week.

Glued to a video on the laptop

As I type this, I have the television on, my kindle on the arm of the couch, and the baby monitor telling me that my 2 year-old is just waking up.....so obviously I love technology, but sometimes I savor simpler times.  Luckily, I have resisted the urge to get a smartphone; most of my friends seem mentally attached to theirs and I like that I usually forget where my cell phone is. However, I do have a Kindle Fire that soothes my scrabble addiction and e-mail-checking problem.  We also use technology to placate children, fill silences, and avoid in-person interactions--not that that's necessarily wrong but I think we should have an awareness of how we use technology.

So my proposal for Lent is:

Am I proposing we throw the televisions out the window and rid the world of internet access? Heck, no. BUT, I like the idea of challenging myself to do without certain technologies for simply one day a week--- AND I'm going to take my family with me on this magical journey.

So far my list for the "Phone-Free Friday" includes:

• Phone calls
• Texting
• Home phone
• Television
• Word games
• Facebook
• Computer time
  
  

The obvious exceptions to my list are:

• Communicating for urgent needs: If I am meeting a friend I need to know when/where etc; work-related calls, and bills, etc.
• School-related activities. Much of my homeschooling is done online and I print out A LOT of material.
• Music-- since I don't have any radio in my house, I would like to put on the internet radio for the kids to dance to!
• In case of vomit, the above list will be null and void (I cannot survive a day of sick children without the placation of television).

Why should you try to give up technology for just one day a week? Well, I plan to do a post on the Catholic concept of sacrifice for the spiritual side of Lent, but I also think it's so easy to get addicted to that constant access.  Disconnecting for even one day may open your eyes to your family's needs and to see if your children are also too reliant on that quick stimulation rather than their own imagination. Obviously I am quite reliant on technology as the 45 minutes of "screen time" every day are very precious to me, but I don't like it when my 2 year old starts demanding "I want play on Kindle!" as soon as breakfast's over.  So a little technology-purging will be refreshing!

So 9 days left until Lent--- am I ready to try this? Will I survive? Will you join me?  

Easy Rule #5690- Don't wait for a power outage to see if you could survive an Internet-free existence- try and free up some time and mental energy now!


Follow other bloggers who are also doing 7 posts in 7 days here!!

Going to church--even for the Not-So-Right Reasons...

On any given Sunday morning, you may see a mom frantically smoothing down bed-head hair and wrestling toddlers into tights.  Meanwhile, a scruffy husband dons a wrinkled shirt as he wipes off stray shaving cream.  After the entourage of children find their shoes, they scramble to the car seats amidst bickering.  Frantically, they race to the church only to sneak into the back pew praying that their baby does not scream during the quiet parts of church.  Why do families bother to go to Mass when it can be such a hassle on an otherwise “peaceful weekend day”?  What if the parents don’t have a strong faith?  So many families choose to have their children christened in the faith, and then don’t attend Mass as a family again, though it is a commandment that we attend weekly.  The Catholic Church offers salvation, truth, and understanding, but what if you aren’t ready to “buy into” all of that?  What can the Church offer your family if you are not strong in your faith?  The Church can teach your family so many things besides the obvious spiritual reasons:

1.       The Church strengthens marriage:  As the divorce rate nears 60% for Americans, couples can be reassured that Catholics have a less than 20% chance of separation, which is the lowest among organized religions.  The statistic, however, has one “catch”: the couples must attend mass regularly.  The act of taking that hour out of your schedule for God as a couple has a profound impact on the overall success and longevity of your marriage, even if you do not  necessarily have a profound faith. 

2.       The Church teaches you sacrifice:  Planning your weekend activities around Mass times can be inconvenient, even with all the choices that are offered.  Sometimes by attending church you may miss parties, play dates, or even just sleeping in (especially as your little ones grow into teenagers).  How is making your children go somewhere that they don’t want go good for them? It teaches them that the world does not revolve around their needs and desires.  Learning to sacrifice for others can be the cornerstone for developing empathy, work ethic, and selflessness.  Children also will witness their parental sacrifices in going to Mass, and they will recognize the importance of a greater good.

3.       The Church teaches your children to sit still:   Children are bundles of energy that race around all day while parents desperately try to keep up.  Many parents wait until preschool to teach their children the importance of sitting and listening.  Providing a routine structure in which children NEED to be quiet once a week is a great start on that essential life skill.  Is wrestling a 15-month-old for one hour exhausting? YES! But once that baby learns to sit quietly (and it does eventually happen) that skill can translate into other areas.  For example, sitting at a restaurant waiting for food will seem easy in comparison.   Children will learn that they can’t always be “wiggly” and noisy.  Even two-year-olds can differentiate between a playground and a pew, if the parent is vigilant and consistent.

4.       The Church teaches forgiveness:  Though most parents and couples attempt unconditional love and forgiveness, every day stresses challenge even the most patient and kind.  The act of Reconciliation can be an emotionally healing experience for the entire family.  Unlike other Christian religions, the Catholic Church has you confess your sins to a priest. This may seem like a cruel, humiliating task, but instead it can be a peaceful closure to one’s mistakes.  By verbalizing your sins, you have to face your errors and become accountable for your actions.  Besides the absolution of your sins, the psychology of the act itself provides enough reason to participate.  Teaching your children (and yourself) that you can make mistakes, learn from them, and start anew creates an emotional secure family.

5.       The Church teaches fundamental morals:   Children need rules, limits, and structure to succeed; they need those guidelines to be able to securely develop into stable, reasonable adults.   Even if you don’t consider yourself a “good” Catholic, you probably believe in the basic tenets of the church.  On the most basic level, the Church follows the Golden Rule and the Ten Commandments—not exactly challenging doctrine to follow, even for children.  Without deep faith, one can still model those teachings as a family.  Children eagerly grasp at the concepts of right and wrong, but they are also in the “why” stage.   The Church provides an answer to that ‘why’ –a reason besides “Because I said so.” 

6.       The Church thrives on tradition: Throughout your life you may move to a new house, city, or even a new country.  Catholic means universal; unlike other Christian religions, the canon of the Mass will remain the same no matter where you attend.  For families, the church becomes a home: a consistent, stable one.  Churchgoers have a more positive daily outlook than non-churchgoers, and statistically they are happiest on Sundays.  Keeping the tradition of Sunday Mass will have you focus on doing at least one activity together as a family.  Once church is established as a “mandatory” tradition, family dinners, outings, and more might soon fill your Sunday calendar. 

7.       The Church is patient with faith: You may not have a profound faith now, but the Church is patient.  The church provides a calm, peaceful atmosphere to foster your spirituality.  You, or your children, may not always feel a connection with the Mass, but by being there you are receiving the graces of the service.  You are giving your children a chance to claim a faith that you may not have.   If you attend Mass with an open mind, your belief may deepen, or you may at least be willing to discuss your doubts with those who may have a stronger faith. 

Lastly, just ask yourself, “What do I have to lose?” Going to weekly Mass has a significant impact on your family’s well-being.  The Church can support you as your family grows, and you may take advantage of the dozens of other opportunities it can provide (youth groups, RCIA, etc.)  Hopefully, you will soon recognize the true riches of that the Church can offer you, so you can be Catholic for the right reasons, but for now, just go to Church—God knows what He’s doing.


**Please note, if you are doubting your faith, please do examine these guidelines for receiving Holy Communion

The easy rules for today:

Rule #3 Go to church every Sunday. You (and your children) may be getting more out of the mass than you realize.

Rule #313 Play the odds: if statistics show that churchgoers have happier, longer marriages and more stable families-- then go for it!